I have a confession. I constantly fail to live up to the expectation of a “normal” manager. I tend to do things with a different perspective than a goal driven, intense, boss figure. I am a weird manager because…

1. I would rather be working behind the bar 12 hours a day than doing anything else.

2. I dance like a fool behind the bar with my baristas just because I can.

3. I meet with some of my baristas sitting on the floor of the office instead of upright and proper at our conference table. Why? It takes the pressure off both of us, seriously, I will be doing this in my real job after college.

4. My precious few break times between classes are my favorite times to go and help out the shift behind the bar or order a drink and stand like a real customer in line to wait for my coffee.

5. My entire week is made when I find a new coffee combination that blows my mind. (For instance, this week, instead of a normal cuban shot in my white mocha, I used Starbucks sea salt instead of cinnamon with Sugar In The Raw, and added salted caramel. It is phenomenal.)

6. Nine times out of ten, you can find me in the back of house of McConn, behind the bar, or in the office.

7. About 60% of my wardrobe is now black or brown, because heaven forbid you wear white behind the bar and get something on it. I partially base my fashion on what I can wear at work and what I can’t.

8. I love spending time with our baristas. I am friends outside of work with most of them. It’s so great.

9. Pranks. All the time, with everyone, about the most outrageous things. (Personal favorite of mine is taping down the handle on the water sprayer on the sink, classic.)

10. I love the fact that I feel constantly surrounded by the beauty of this industry. The creations that some of our baristas can create on the top of a drink, the beautiful personalities that come and go from McConn throughout the day, and the beautiful facilities that we have continue to amaze me.

This management position in McConn has helped me grow in so many ways. It has forced me to do difficult things, improve on my barista skills, crack down on my discipline and reveal what is truly important to me in a career; a love for people and the product.

Men in diapers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, some seriously elderly ladies, an all female biker gang, and hippies. What do all these have in common? They were all serving coffee this week at McConn. We had a contest this week to compete for the most creativity dressed up shift and I was so impressed with how weird and wacky our baristas got. It was so much fun to be able to dress up and look (in many cases) compeletly ridiculous and make some students smile on their way to class.

"tough tuesday" outfits

Zombies

Grandmas

Hippies

Mad Scientists (Photo credit: Levi McClish)

All in all, it was a very eventful week. I can safety say that I had no idea how creative our baristas would get and just how much I wish to never see so much “man thigh” again.

This past Sunday, I had a chance to do something I love. Teach barista skills to my wonderful friend, April. She had said she had always wanted to learn how to be a barista and I jumped on that opportunity to teach her. Not only was she a natural behind the bar, but she really did impress me with how much she already knew simply by watching and how quickly she caught on to some difficult behind-the-bar skills. Her enthusiasm was contagious and she made a mean cuban white mocha. After watching her master the skills that took me weeks; I’m convinced, this girl has coffee in her blood.

April with her cuban mocha. Very well made indeed!

Before you see the list, lets be honest, we’ve all committed at least one of these crimes at some point in our vast caffeinated past. Sometimes it just can’t be helped, but other times, it is just a product of blatant ignorance which could easily be corrected. After having worked as a barista for the past couple of years, I have had my fair share of superior customers, and those who need a little coffee nudging. Hence, here is a list of ten things that you should not do when you walk up to the coffee counter next time.

When you order coffee, DON’T…

1. Pull out the “um” at the register

Now, I can confess, I have fallen victim to this one more that once. After standing in line for a couple minutes, you lose track of your order and it is suddenly your turn to tell the barista what type of caffeinated goodness you are truly craving. Understandable. On the other hand, after waiting in line for three minutes and still having no clue what you want, then taking up precious time at the register deciding between two amazingly similar drinks, not okay. You are taking up the time of the barista, the people behind you, and screwing with the flow behind the bar. So, know what you want to order before you get to the register or step out of line, it’s really very simple.

2. Throw a switchup 

After ordering the beverage, it is the most frustrating thing for the barista to have the customer run down the length of the counter and ask if they could then add something into their already complicated drink, pro bono. I can’t tell you how many times customers have strategically waited until I have already made half their drink to ask if they could add additional syrup or shots of espresso. Number one, rude. Number two, taking advantage of the system. Number three, no. Just no.

3. Ask for decaf 

Sticky subject. Is decaf a bad thing, no. Decaf within itself is actually a blessing. It allows those who can’t have caffeine to experience the joy of coffee. Decaf becomes a bad thing when people force themselves to order it. So many customers come in, order decaf, and then complain all the way down the bar, about how tired they are and they really need coffee to wake them up. I so often what to say “Hello. You just ordered decaf. That ain’t going to wake you up any more than a glass of warm milk, buddy.” People who order decaf themselves, without dietary restrictions are only shooting themselves in the foot, and making everyone listen to them complain about how it hurts.

4. Expect skim if you don’t ask for skim

If you don’t specify what type of milk you want, which 90% of you don’t, then we give you 2%. It is that way in a majority of every coffee shop across the nation. You cannot expect us to telepathically read your mind and know that you want skim instead of 2%. Unless you let us know, then shocker, we won’t!

5. Mix coconut, hazelnut, and gingerbread

Yes someone ordered that exact combination. Yes, I’m sure it was disgusting. Here’s the thing, don’t order something “adventurous” if you don’t think you’re going to like it. It is not an accurate representation of the coffee house because it could’ve been against their better judgement. When in doubt, ask the barista! Chances are, they have tried almost every possible syrup combination and could let you know whether or not it is worth the risk.

6. Ask for a free drink

Coffee houses are businesses. I swear some people view them as a free coffee stand. As baristas, we love giving out free drinks, when appropriate, and watching it make your day. The trade off is, we can’t afford to do that every shift, every day. It disappoints when we can’t give you what you want. So, if a free drink is called out, then by all means, go and enjoy it. Tell your barista thank you, but nothing is tackier than coming up in your North Face jacket with your Coach purse and asking for a handout.

7. Complain about a $1 cup of coffee

Coffee in many ways is like wine. There are certain beans that are far superior cup of coffee, just like there are types of grapes that make for a excellent glass of wine. That difference in quality is what mostly dictates the price you pay. Companies like Starbucks use only the top 10% of the world’s best coffee beans to use in their roasts. The quality of their coffee is why you pay a slightly higher price. If you can get a superior cup of coffee, for only a one dollar, that was made with some of the top produced beans in the world, I wouldn’t be complaining about how that dollar is eating into your savings. If it was really that big of a sacrifice for you, then you would probably be buying Foldgers or something and making your coffee at home while you save money.

8. Put us through the ringer with our products

“Do you have that mug in blue?” “How much is it?” “Does it come in a bigger size?” “Does that tea have caffeine?” “Do I get a discount if I buy them together?” “Can I get them cheaper online?” Questions are not bad. Having us walk up and down with you as a personal shopper for a hour and quizzing us on our coffee knowledge, and then not buying one item, is very simply put; not cool man.

9. Ask a stupid question

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “there is no such thing as a stupid question.” While that might be true most of the time, a question such as “is your iced tea cold?” qualifies as a, very, stupid, question.

10. Blowoff a “thank you”

It is two small words. Two words, that sometimes make all the difference in the day of a barista. Customers that thank me for the drinks that I make by hand, specifically for them, stand out and shine to me. It shows me they are grateful for the time, energy , and effort that it took to make their specialty drink. It also shows that they are not complete tools and have some capacity for human interaction.

After having read the list, I can say that you have officially been educated on the proper, courteous ways to order coffee by understanding ways not to do it.